I love too many people who would never love me back.
to move forward like a current
because going back isn’t an option
I’m starting to become okay with that
Nice to know you.
Goodbye.
you were actually trying to help me because you saw how pathetic I looked and felt bad for me.
If there is one gift I could ever fucking give myself it would be fucking Silence.
I need to give myself that.
It would do me a world of good.
Just pure fucking Silence.
Not a sound, not a cry, not a breath.
Silence.
I will drown myself in these lies that consume my mind
Seeping through every inch of my being
It is true what they say
‘The truth hurts’
I believe what it is that eats at me the most is how you view me
I wish I could even explain to myself why I care so much
It is purely a sick dream that is reoccuring
I wake up in the coldest fucking sweats
Knowing that everything is too fucking gone
I am a sad, pathetic girl just hating everything about myself
at least you feel the same way as I do
I can see it in your eyes
but
At least we both know that I am good for one thing
disgustingĀ
but true
and the truth does fucking hurt
like a thousand fucking knives ripping through my entire existance
through my entire fucking existance
it leaves me so hopelessĀ
Hopeless for nothing greater than this
It could never possibly get any better than this
I just wish I was more
Especially to you..
I will always expect to be less because of who I am
I will be content for now.. that hope turns into myself never hoping to be anything more to you because at least this is something
Something while being nothing
Empty.
I am empty.
and in my head all I hear is ” It doesn’t get much better than this kid.”
All I can do is fucking nod and take all this shit that i’ve created for myself
Maybe if I was someone different
Maybe if I looked different
Maybe if I talked different
Maybe if every single thing about me was different
Hello to another summer of feeling lost in a fucking world where I have no permanent home..
Stronger than last.. yeah i’ll admit that
Yes, I am fucking fine on the outside but on the inside I am trying so fucking hard to figure out why the fuck I torture myself with all of these thoughts, dreams, and endless questions.
Please just agree with me and tell me I am worthless to my face that is all I need to hear you say.
I know you are thinking it
fucking tell me
Please.
the more time that passes I have less and less to say
Maybe i’m always okay?
For if death was a sweet peaceful state of sleep that’s where i’d wanna be.
major fucking issues and I just don’t see it getting any better
not even in a lets be negative sort of way
it is just my reality
I dream of donuts and you.
Probably as good as my dreams get?
Every time I get close enough to touch.. I wake up.
I hate that part.
I regret nothing.
I hope
that bitch on the back burner treats you real good
but most likely you gon get fuckin burned
xoxo